Ms. Holly Golightly always had colorful phrases for everything, one of my fav phrases being her description of depression- the “Mean Reds”…. I guess when things got really bad for ol’ Holly, her blues just plum turned worse. I think, unfortunately, perhaps my mood is souring south as well. After all my best efforts, the thought of not being able to pull enough benjamins to pay rent next month seems to be silently creeping up. That’s it! My kids are going on food stamps! Waaaaaait…do they have food stamps for cat food?!
By “kids” of course, I mean my lovable furballs, Maximus and Sampson. The above movie still from B.A.T.’s seems to quite accurately mimick my morning with my youngest petulant pussy, Sampson. Every morning, the little bastard is my alarm clock, promptly traipsing on my back until he gets his breakfast. Never once has the little guy offered to make me breakfast, so I always respond groggily, “Please dear, your Auntie Mame is hung.”
After I clear the cobwebs from my brain, I silently feed the little darlings, trying my best to convince myself today that I will drink green tea instead of coffee. Coffee of course, prevails. An hour later, having slurped the coffee and eaten breakfast, all while simultaneously scanning and applying for new jobs, I turn to the kids again and decide to focus my boredom and frustration on them.
After several rough drafts, I think I have chosen several wonderful new nicknames for them:
Sampson
Sam
Scram-son
Sam-sa-roni (the San Francisco Treat)
Samsonite!
—-
Maximus
Max Imus in the Morning (does that make my cat a racist?)
Sir Max-a-Lot
Snax
Snax-A-Lot!
—-
Yeah, in other words, its like, 10:30 am and we’ve shown ourselves to be very productive. Find me a job pwwweeeeze, before I have to apply to be a barista at Starbucks!!!!
(***BTW, that was a rant directed not at you, but at the Universe….)
25/06/2008 at 9:38 pm Permalink
As soon as I saw the picture of your Dad I thought “Borat”. Did Milda get put in cage?